Trick-or-Treat v. Trunk-or-Treat

Which is better, taking your kids trick-or-treating around the neighborhood, or taking your kids to a "Trunk-or-Treat" event?  Let's assume first of all that you aren't anti-Halloween or anti-copious-amounts-of-candy.  Let's also assume that the "Trunk-or-Treat" event is already in your community or neighborhood, so you don't have the hassle of a long drive, and that it is free beyond what you are going to pay to purchase candy to hand out yourself.

I don't have a straight answer.  I have been to two "Trunk-or-Treat" events in my whole life and am looking forward to my third this year, as well as to my first neighborhood Halloween Carnival.  None of these events fall on Halloween so, like both times before, I will be doing "Trunk-or-Treat" in addition to regular trick-or-treating rather than in lieu of walking my kids around and handing out candy at my own door.

Confession: one year we did "travel-or-treat" where we drove to a Grandma's neighborhood ostensibly to hang with family, but we were very aware of the fact that we considered it a safer, "nicer" neighborhood likely to hand out better candy with less walking.  I do not endorse this and won't be doing it again unless it really is about family.

I live on a street I like to refer to as "the trick-or-treat wasteland."  In an otherwise festive neighborhood, it seems we are the only family on the street that decorates for Halloween and leaves the porch light on for the night of Oct. 31st--taken together, this is the universal signal for "candy available here!"  As a result, our first year we had less than 10 total trick-or-treaters.  Discouraging.  Depressing when you consider the extra candy in the house on the number one day of the year when I already think we have way too much candy in the house.  We have slowly, but surely, enticed more trick-or-treaters each year as we are better known in the area and persevere in our decorating traditions.

On the other hand, we have seen 100+ people in attendance at the "Trunk-or-Treats" we have attended.  Overall, we interact with more of our neighbors at "Trunk-or-Treats" than going trick-or-treating.  Even that interaction is limited though, as young kids tug at our costumes to walk with them or other kids trick-or-treat our car in the parking lot.  And how depressing is it to decorate your car and share candy from there as opposed to your home?  For me, nothing equals the personal-touch of someone opening their front door, even just a crack, to happily greet you on their own porch.

Which leads me to notice something interesting.  My favorite Halloween experiences have nothing to do with candy collecting.  I'm not anti-Halloween, so stay with me here.

Fave Halloween #1:
When I was younger, my ambitious older brother convinced the whole family to stay home and erect a make-shift, but appropriately spooky, haunted back-yard.  Trick-or-Treaters were directed down the north-side of our home only to be sprayed with silly string by me, dressed as a spider, and hiding in our gigantic cherry tree.  They then were startled silly by my sister who had buried herself in the fallen leaves from said cherry tree.  My mom handed out witch's brew, apple juice made foggy by dry ice.  There was a headstone stage-prop and a phony guillotine before the exit on the south-side.  It was totally safe, not uber-scary, and way better than getting candy, even for a sugar-loving little girl.  And boy did it give us something to talk about with our friends and neighbors for days after.


Fave Halloween #2:
For the years between the trick-or-treating age and the dating age I generally held a spooky sleepover.  We played the usual party games, and watched "The Private Eyes."  Which you should totally watch this Halloween if you can get your hands on it.  HI-larious!

Fave Halloween #3:
All the adult boys in my husband's family brought their wives and children over to their parents' house.  The men get dressed up as scary things and slump around the yard and porch among newspaper-stuffed Halloween effigies.  One brother roamed the street in front of the house, walkie-talkie in hand, letting the other brothers know if young kids were in the upcoming group of "trick-or-treaters," and if so, just how much they should tone it down.  As costumed kids approached, the brothers would jump out and scare them as appropriate.  I was dressed as Snow White and handed out candy with a friendly smile at the door. We had kids come by more than once, rejecting the offer to take a second dip at the candy bowl because, "We just wanted to see what you would do if we came back after [younger brother or sister] went home."

Fave Halloween #4:
In a neighborhood we no longer live in, something special has evolved.  Sick of giving kids candy they don't need, One neighbor decided to hand out hot dogs, grilled right there in front of you on the driveway.  Next door followed suit and started giving out apple cider.  And you know what happens?  People don't just ring the doorbell, receive a quick comment on the costumes and give an equally quick thank you as they head off in search of more.  They linger, they visit.  These two consecutive front yards become a gathering place, and a decent dinner on sugar-crazed night!

And that's what all these things have in common.  Call it quality time if you want but I prefer to think of it as celebrating.  All my faves involve making the effort to celebrate the holiday and the relationships, even at the expense of the time-honored tradition of handing out and gobbling up candy.

Let's get creative.  There's probably dozens of ways to make Halloween an event instead of "hit as many cars or as many homes as you can."  I will probably hand-out something at my door and at my car every year, but this year, I'm going to be thinking of ways to encourage you to stay and chat with me a little while, and to encourage my kids to be more excited about enjoying these relationships and playing than collecting cavities, meltdowns and tummy aches.

For those of you that think I'm crazy to suggest anything so dangerous as trick-or-treating at all, my favorite article on Trick-or-treating danger.

50 non-candy things to hand-out